The truth about motherhood: overwhelm is going to happen. It’s where you focus it.
Being a parent is one of the most difficult, ever-changing jobs there is. Before that phase, growing into a pregnant woman and morphing into a mother is like stepping into a whole new body, mind, and heart.
Suddenly, you’re forced to re-evaluate, re-prioritize, and re-shuffle nearly every part of your life.
Just like everything in life, we’re hyper-connected and on constant content overload. When we need ideas for food prep or birthday gifts or holiday crafts, there’s a million places we could go, at simply the search of a button. Heck, as a marketer for my day job, I’m a part of the beast (which I think sometimes overwhelms me even more). It’s powerful and fascinating, but also detrimental in breaking down the most fundamental ways of living.
Though, it’s nothing new. I’ve slowly come to the realization that that trying every food prep idea, superfood, skincare routine, home decor idea, capsule wardrobe, and morning routine wasn’t really returning — I’d have to just take what worked for me and let fall by the wayside what didn’t.
When I became a mom, it became harder to draw that line. I was doing (or not doing) these things for someone else. A super cute and special someone else.
So when you’re told by your neighbor, your mother, your pediatrician, your email/app/web alert/pinterest pin/you-name-it…that there’s something MORE you can do, your ears perk up. Why haven’t I heard of that? Did I do my research extensively enough? Is it bad that I half-read that article while catching up on The Bachelor or purchased only the third all-natural baby sunblock I found on Amazon?
The mom-rush swoops in. And suddenly, baby bear needs more than the berries across the way. It’s time to trek across the road to grab the new, super-red berries and mash ’em up in a new way for baby bear’s developing taste buds. It can come after the new play-style, because pots, pans, and wooden spoons no longer cut it.
I sound cynical. And I’m the farthest thing from it. Just to color it, I LOVE trying all the things. I buy the glass baby jars and find creative ways to feed baby girl extra veggies and teach her the alphabet. And she surprises us on the daily with her new words and ideas. But, alongside working full-time, trying to keep the house in order, feeding all of us a colorful plate, and maybe, just maybe, finally downloading my iPhone photos to our shared drive at the end of the month, it becomes a constant hustle.
There’s a point you hit when you realize trying to do #allthethings means enjoying #noneofthethings and #beingpresent like half the time.
Sure, my ideal life as a mom actually looks a little more like perfect whole breakfasts, perfectly planned outfits, a great day at the park, a warm, harmonious slumber at naptime, an afternoon craft, etc. (All while whipping up dinner and doing the laundry.) What about yours? Is it chock full of all the things?
These are the building blocks of overwhelm. I think it tends to hit us when we’re just heading face-first into the wall… maybe even a couple of seconds into the face-smash.
The interesting thing is that you can be overwhelmed by things (to do, to organize, to put away), ideas, lists, dreams, stresses, or even feelings. When you think about it this way, it becomes a little easier to start tackling!
And I’m convinced that the overwhelm comes from the need to be perfect or MORE. But let’s step away from more and step into abundance, wholeness, and wellness. It’s not settling or being okay with “less than” but letting the less-tangible and photo-worthy moments take up the space. Without perfection and the unachievable need to cover all the bases all the time, we start to see a road ahead of only those things that are most important to us and our families in that season.
Ready to stop overwhelm and welcome abundance?
Seven Ways to Stop Overwhelm in It’s Tracks
- Speak out loud. Really. I found sometimes the biggest way to find out if something was unnecessary in that season was to actually speak it.
- Think in layers. Try lean away from the idea that you need to tackle all thing at once. Kids change so quickly, that once you master something, you’re immediately on to the next! Once you layer something in, you can add more.
- Ask why. Ask yourself “why.” Is it because you, too, want the pretty Instagram picture? Or is it worth chasing?
- Picture the opposite. To see if something is overwhelming you or creating abundance, try to look at the opposite or the “without.” Is it really that different?
- Get help. This is a huge one. And lends itself to an entire post. To start here, start small. Ask for help. Be open to not doing it all at every moment.
- Minimize. Minimize your stuff, your schedule, your plans, your need for variety… it’ll give you space to breathe and think.
- Breathe. Just breathe. And maybe close your eyes. And let out a bit bellow from the belly if it feels good, too!
